Wait Until I'm Queen!

So, the Supreme Court of the United States is now deliberating over the constitutionality of the health care plan put forth by President Obama. This is the same plan that was voted into law by both Houses of Congress about two years ago.

At issue is whether or not the government can force its citizens to purchase mandatory health care. As if the government can ever force us to do anything...hahahahahaha!

Now if I understand this correctly, the Senate and House of Representatives wasted a year and a half of my time and taxpayer dollars putting this thing together while all the time knowing that the far right wing was going to challenge and do everything in the power to over turn it? Son of a bitch!

Is this the same Congress that gets free health care and pensions for life?  Is this the same Supreme Court that is guaranteed a job and health care benefits for life?

I wish to God that I was Queen of this country for just one year. Man, I would fix Congress so fast it would make your head spin! You know what I would do? I’m glad you asked.

Queen Julia the First (and last)

First of all, here’s what I would look like as Queen of the United States. Not bad, huh?

To begin with, I’d shut the whole Capitol building down. I’d take away their limos, their staffs, their gym, and every other goddamn thing they have that I don’t and could never afford and I’d load every one of these people into a fleet of hot, smelly school buses in the middle of July. Then I’d drop them off in cities all over the country; with no money and no job. I’d just kick them out of the bus and say, “you’re on your own. Live like we do and see how you like it!”

Then I would take every lobbyist, every glad-handing, palm-extending, perk dropping sleaze ball, make them exchange their fancy suits for a pair of coveralls and hire them to scrub every floor in the Capitol Building to see what real work feels like.    

Oh I would pay them of course. Some would get minimum wage, some would make about fifty to seventy thousand a year. But all would have a family to support and a mortgage to pay. Plus they would have to cough up the money to pay the huge bill each month for their medical insurance.

So far, my first week of “Queen-ing” has been fun! But I wouldn’t stop there.  Here are some of the other things I’d do.

1. I’d get every copy of the tax code I could find and have a huge bonfire. Then I would replace it with a progressive code with rates of 10%, 20% and 30%, depending on your income level. 

2. Anyone caught peddling influence to the future Congress would be sentenced to one year of working in a fast-food place or six months of being a single parent. And for repeat offenders, they would have to listen to an endless loop of Michelle Bachmann speeches interspersed with Herman Cain’s singing three nights a week for a year.

3. I would end our involvement in Afghanistan tomorrow. They don’t want us there, we don’t want to be there and we’ve done what we said we were going to do.

4. Term limits for every elected official and contributions would be limited to $20. NO STUPID SUPER PACS.

5. All elected officials have to live in FEMA trailers for the duration of their terms

6. The Supreme Court works all year long and gets two weeks vacation for the first two years of their term. After that, it’s three. Three sick days a year and they have to work one weekend a month.

7. Cut defense spending by one third, and build up a health care fund.

8. Stop subsidizing, farmers and oil companies. Stop exporting oil and tell OPEC to shove it.

9. Limit the number of lawyers in the country to 2.

10. Finally, we need to have a way to measure effectiveness of our representatives in Congress, just like they want to do for teachers. Therefore I would pay them based on merit. Based on their performance so far, Congress would owe us money!

And when I was done, I would abdicate my throne and move back to my active adult community and live out the rest of my life knowing that I had actually done something for my country. No books written and no big fat lecture fees.

America’s discontent is like a big giant pimple which is coming to a head. People are tired of being sold a bill of goods year after year, decade after decade. Politicians could get away with their hot air promises in years past because by the time their lies filtered through the system it was generally too late to do anything about it. But in the years since social media and the Internet has linked us together, their empty rhetoric is called into question each and every time they spout it.

I laugh at politicians who rail against the President’s so-called ‘socialist’ leanings because these do-nothings make their fortunes in government, the largest socialist organization there is. They produce nothing and yet they seem to think that they know what’s best for our citizens. And when they retire or are kicked out of office, they have nice, big, fat pensions to live off of for the rest of their lives. Of course, they are able to supplement their juicy monthly check with book deals and speaking fees as well, while you and I augment our incomes with second and third jobs, often well into our retirement years.

Yes, the people that run our government seem to have forgotten that it is OUR government they are running. America is ALL of us, not some of us, and not the ones who can spend the most money to grab the ear and wallet of some member of Congress who’s been there for forty years. Absolute power corrupts absolutely, it’s been said, and I truly believe that our system of government has reached that point of corruption.

Please know that when I say the system has been corrupted, I don’t mean the idea and ideal of our republic; that is a grand one. And if there were a way to initiate a renaissance in it I would be the first to stand up for it. But a career politician, someone whose entire existence and whose entire career is devoted to keeping his or her job is wrong. It’s just wrong. The idea of a citizen government is that you leave the private world, work for the good of your country, and then go back home to resume your life. It was never meant to be a life-long job. And it certainly was never meant to be so attractive a career, as to do it to the exclusion of everything else in one’s life.

Wow... that felt great! Every once in a while ya just have to let off steam to replace the stinky hot air that blows across this country. By the way, if you seriously would like me for Queen, just shoot me an email!

That’s it. I’m done bitching. Everybody hug. Everybody eat. Abbondanza!

      

Ahhh, Sweet Mysteries of Life!

The great mysteries of the world have baffled folks for centuries, especially those whose job it is to be baffled by the great mysteries of the world, like scientists and government employees. No one really knows why the Pyramids were built, for example, although theories abound. Some believe they were ancient tombs for some very important Egyptians, while others believe they were guideposts for incoming alien spacecraft. My own personal belief is that they were the first indoor shopping mall. I have no proof of this, other than the enormous sand parking lot that surrounds them.

There are lots of other things in this world that I don’t understand. The Kardashian phenomenon, for instance continues to baffle me, mostly because there’s just so damned many of them. I am baffled all the more by their value to society. What do they do? What do they contribute? Why are they so wealthy and popular? How do I get to be one?

About the only one I do vaguely recognize is Bruce Jenner, mainly because I love Wheaties Cereal and he used to be on the box, all handsome and clean-cut. I don’t know what happened to him, but he is now barely recognizable. I believe that it is him because I recognize his voice; but that’s the only reason. Maybe that’s what Kardashians do to people. They kind of sound like an alien race of beings that you might find on Star Trek anyway. Why do we care? Why does Bruce Jenner care?

And then there’s the Duggars, those reality show ‘stars’ of  TLC’s 19 Kids and Counting who had all those babies. I don’t understand the allure of them either. Are we that bored with our lives that we can’t wait to find out each week what mischief child #6 or #2 will commit? Will their careers in show business end when Mrs. Duggar enters menopause?

 Over the weekend, the prolific father, “Jim Bob” Duggar (I swear to God, that’s his name) came out and endorsed Rick Santorum, the ultra-conservative, pro-Crusades, candidate for President. This, I guess, is Santorum’s ingenious plan for winning the Presidency. The Duggars, if allowed to continue procreating, will eventually have enough children to populate their own state and thus guarantee Rick his win.

Questions, questions...

Hey, another question here. Why is alcohol consumption celebrated in our country, but we have a war on marijuana? Both are mind altering, no? And there is certainly less vomiting involved with smoking a joint once in a while than there is with over-indulgence of  booze, isn’t there? Plus, think of the eco-benefits of legalizing it. No elaborate packaging is needed for pot, which fouls up the landfills. Just a simple sandwich baggie, is all. No inane advertising is needed either; who doesn’t know someone who can ‘get it’ anytime? America’s snack food industry would thrive like never before, putting people back to work and thus lowering the unemployment rate. Entrepreneurial types would have a field day developing their businesses, and the government would be able to pay off the debt in a week with the taxes they’d collect. Plus, we wouldn’t have to worry about China, North Korea or Iran starting a war with us. Hell, we wouldn’t worry about anything! World peace would be eminently possible if instead of sitting at the negotiating table, the leaders of these countries all got together in a backyard somewhere and smoked a doob. Hey Iran, don’t harsh my mellow here!

Questions, questions...

I don’t understand, how in a country of what, three hundred million people, the current crop of Republican Presidential candidates managed to get where they are. I have seen better choices made on Dancing with the Stars. JR deserved to win, of course, but Rikki Lake would have been just as qualified.

Maybe that’s how we should choose all of our government. Hell, the Duggars got a reality show, maybe it’s time we have one for our governance. We could call it something like, So you think you’re responsible? Or something like that. Each week, every state has the candidates do something good for their state, like say... work for a living, or try to live on a fixed amount of money. Then, the judges decide who is going to be eliminated and the person who goes home vows to never get involved in politics again. This could go on for twenty-six weeks until the winners from each state become Senators and Congress people. And every four years, these folks have a chance to compete in a competition to see who becomes President. Sure! That’s it! If the founding fathers were alive today, THIS would be the system they’d have designed.

Questions, questions...

Why is skinny considered good and beautiful and not so skinny considered gross and disgusting? I hear men talking about this a lot. And not just young, virile men with washboard abs and bulging pecs; I’m talking about balding, toothless men with swollen prostates and back hair that could carpet two full rooms in a house!  They’ll be standing in a pack outside of a convenience store and a woman will walk by. Once she’s inside, they caucus and discuss whether they would do her. That’s the term they use. And more often than not, their fantasy decision will be weight-based. As if they would ever have even the slightest chance of lowering their hairy, beer bloated bodies onto a woman of intellectual and physical substance.

Yeah, there are a lot of things I don’t understand. And I will probably go to my cremation urn with most of them unanswered. But isn’t that what life is all about, seeking answers to things? It’s what separates us from other members of the animal kingdom. Our issue here in America has been that we have for too long trusted our lives with those who tell us what they think we should believe. We, the people, have been complacent, thinking that the people in power had our best interests at heart. THEY DON’T. THEY NEVER HAVE, AND NEVER WILL. It is up to us to get involved and say, enough is enough.

I think that is happening now, don’t you? Everywhere you look, throughout the world, people are saying to those who egotistically thought that they were untouchable by the masses; I’ve had it with you. We’ve had it with you. And you must go away now and let us decide what’s best for us.

Not since the 1960s have I been so hopeful for the future of this country, and indeed for the world. People are taking back control of their governments and being proactive in their futures. When people like Donald Trump are laughed out of the limelight and the public is intelligent enough to reject the buffoonery of the Palins and, Cains, et al, there is hope. When the Occupy Movement catches on like a wildfire in the minds of the people, there is hope. Sure there will always be the inanity and demagoguery in our media, but we are smart enough to see it for what it is; self-aggrandizing carpet bagging. And we will reject that too. And while it isn’t always obvious, it is apparent; America is growing again, spiritually, intellectually and politically. Discourse and tolerance may not always be the fare of the day, but compromise, which is how stuff gets done, will be.

No question about it.

That‘s it. I’m done bitching. Everybody hug, everybody eat! Abbondanza!