Recently, an old grammar school friend resurfaced in my life
thanks to Facebook. It's been nearly fifty years since we've spoken, but the
bonds of having survived Catholic grammar school, deranged Franciscan nuns and
the never-ending reminders that the bloodied body which was nailed to the cross
and which hung above the blackboard was there because of my miserable, sinful,
ten-year-old life is the glue which allows us to reassemble our friendship in
these, the beginning of our sunset years.
One of his well-thought out and articulate columns had to do
with the radical feminist Cathy Brennan's views on male privilege and her
obvious resentment toward transgendered women moving in on what she considers
her "turf".
Peter stated that our parochial school education and the
behaviors of the nuns was similar to Ms. Brennan's in their resentment of male
privilege. Having lived with both tribes, and having experience such privilege
and then having it removed, he was interested in my perception of the whole
shebang. Here is my response.
In the early years, I made every attempt to justify myself as fully female. I guess I needed the validation from others, and so I stayed firmly entrenched on the third of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs (Acceptance and Love from others) for quite some time. As much as I wanted to be 'fully female' and as much as I wanted to be in a lesbian relationship, the reality and politics of the LGBT world, and particularly Lesbiana, reminded me time and time again that while I could have friends (some close, some not so much), the bulk of Lesbiana would always view me as an "other". This attitude was never as clear to me as the year some of my friends decided to go to Michfest. I was told that it was for "womyn born womyn" and that I could not attend even if I wanted to do so.
This was about five years ago and at the time I found the
statement quite hurtful. But what it drove home to me was that no matter how I
viewed myself, I would never...NEVER be considered 100% female by those folks.
But like anything, some good comes out of every negative and it forced me to
come to grips with what and who I was.
Over time though, I began to realize that the closer I got
to the gate, the less I wanted to go through it. Where I once marched in LGBT
parades on Pride Day, I began to realize that the Trans community was woefully
represented in them. Where I once attended lesbian groups (both social and
political) regularly, I began to sense that I would never BE one of them. And
so gradually, I began to pull away. I found that the political component of
being a lesbian far outweighed the possibility that a woman could put aside the
"trans" part of what I was and just accept who I was as a human
being. I came to understand that the politics of being a lesbian was as much a
part of the whole thing as being attracted to a same sex member. Through my
eyes (and remember, this is just my opinion), women found themselves unable to
give up that badge of honor that allows lesbians to say, we don't need men in our lives. After years of exposure to that
kind of thinking, I found myself back at square one. If I was not a woman, and
I certainly was not a man, then just what was I? All of my childhood training
about gender was about to get thrown out the window.
As you might imagine, back when I began this process
(1999-2000), there was very little information regarding how we trans folk came
to be, but the prevailing theory then (as now) is that this is not a mental
disorder but an organic one. Nature loves variety as we know, and the growing
number of trans-identified folk coming out each year coupled with history being
rife with trans types (see the trial transcript of Joan of Arc) gave credence to the theory that trans folk
did not just suddenly pop onto radar, but that we have been around since the
beginning of recorded time.
I have learned to view gender as a continuum. To me, there
is no absolute male or female. We are all somewhere on that line. And while
society does tend to still classify gender as absolute, I believe that those
lines are being blurred too, mostly because of the growing transgender
population. When so many people are declaring themselves as "other",
as they are these days, isn't the idea of a gender continuum more reasonable
than absolute male or female?
Yet there is that nagging question of male privilege. Does
it exist? Yes. In my field of comedy for instance, it is very pronounced. There
is still a large segment of both the entertainment industry and the general
public who believe that female comics are not as funny as their male
counterparts. Female comedians are paid less and generally will not headline a
show. Nor will you see two female comedians on the same show and when there
are, club owners rarely place them back to back on the lineup. Having worked as
a comedian for both tribes, I can tell you that it is markedly different for
women, and not in a good way.
But back to the radical feminists. I believe (again my own personal
opinion) that when movements begin, it is because of the radical factions.
Their zeal, no matter how angry or discriminatory it may seem, is often the
power behind the growth of a movement. Once that movement gets a foothold in
the mainstream it begins to grow organically, and the very militants who sired it
often are pushed back to the fringes in favor of a more centrist majority. Once
dialogue ensues between the "warring" parties, assimilation begins.
We've seen it in race relations in this country, with European immigrants in
the late 19th and early 20th century and most recently, with our gay and
lesbian populations. Trans people are next in line and have finally begun to
unite. But it has been the young trans radicals who are at the forefront of the
fight. No longer content with being shunned by genetic "cis" women as
in the case of Michfest, or with being on fringes of the LGBT family, trans
women and men are discovering that united, they too can have the power to
change things. Right now, there is a brouhaha going on within our own community
over drag queen RuPaul's use of the word 'tranny' and she-male. Many of us find
those words demeaning and derogatory because in most cases, the context of the
sentence is meant to do just that.
Our young people in the arts have begun to demand that
movies, television and film begin to cast trans folk in their productions.
Jaret Leto's portrayal of a trans woman in Dallas
Buyers Club for instance, was the subject of much rancor within the trans
community. Many of us felt that this could have been a breakout role for a
trans actress, but none were auditioned for the part.
Julia I agree! The woman who does not need validation is the most feared individual on the planet. These factions of feminism (liberal, radical, post modern, transfeminism, etc.), are just schools of thought. Transgendered, male, female, straight, gay, black, white, brown who cares. You get one life on this earth with one goal, happiness!
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