By Madam Julia , Psychic Prognosticator
One of my many well-kept secrets is that I have been blessed with a third eye, which enables me to see far into the future. While it is true that I cover this eye with lots of makeup for show business purposes, it does not however, cloud the visions which come to me regularly, usually on Tuesday nights during NCIS. And that is a shame because I really love me some Mark Harmon.
With 2015 just around the corner (check it, it's there waiting to bash you over the head and take your purse), I am bound by my sacred oath as a certified psychic to share and warn you of what lies ahead. Here then are my predictions. Unfortunately, all of my visions have to do with New Jersey this time around but if anything else pops up I'll be sure to let you know.
1. Donald Trump will get out of the casino and hotel business and open a chain of frozen custard stands. "Forget Mr. Softee," will sayeth The Donald, "this summer
will be licking Mr. Donny.
Instead of DQs they'll be experiencing DTs!" New Jersey
3. NJ Senator Cory Booker will confront Chris Christie in a Denny's and finally force him to sit down and shut up.
4. A new bond rating will be created to reflect
economy. They will be rated "DOA". New Jersey
5. A pre-Revolutionary war parchment will be discovered in a
It will show that our state's name is not in fact, Trenton New
Jersey, but New Jimmy after James, Duke of York, the brother of 's
King Charles II. England
6. A team of right wing 'patriots' armed with chain saws will begin a covert operation to saw
I am available for private readings at $427 per session. Use the codeword 'chickpea' for a 3% discount. Happy Future to you!