Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Wait Until I'm Queen!

So, the Supreme Court of the United States is now deliberating over the constitutionality of the health care plan put forth by President Obama. This is the same plan that was voted into law by both Houses of Congress about two years ago.

At issue is whether or not the government can force its citizens to purchase mandatory health care. As if the government can ever force us to do anything...hahahahahaha!

Now if I understand this correctly, the Senate and House of Representatives wasted a year and a half of my time and taxpayer dollars putting this thing together while all the time knowing that the far right wing was going to challenge and do everything in the power to over turn it? Son of a bitch!

Is this the same Congress that gets free health care and pensions for life?  Is this the same Supreme Court that is guaranteed a job and health care benefits for life?

I wish to God that I was Queen of this country for just one year. Man, I would fix Congress so fast it would make your head spin! You know what I would do? I’m glad you asked.
Queen Julia the First (and last)

First of all, here’s what I would look like as Queen of the United States. Not bad, huh?

To begin with, I’d shut the whole Capitol building down. I’d take away their limos, their staffs, their gym, and every other goddamn thing they have that I don’t and could never afford and I’d load every one of these people into a fleet of hot, smelly school buses in the middle of July. Then I’d drop them off in cities all over the country; with no money and no job. I’d just kick them out of the bus and say, “you’re on your own. Live like we do and see how you like it!”

Then I would take every lobbyist, every glad-handing, palm-extending, perk dropping sleaze ball, make them exchange their fancy suits for a pair of coveralls and hire them to scrub every floor in the Capitol Building to see what real work feels like.    
Oh I would pay them of course. Some would get minimum wage, some would make about fifty to seventy thousand a year. But all would have a family to support and a mortgage to pay. Plus they would have to cough up the money to pay the huge bill each month for their medical insurance.

So far, my first week of “Queen-ing” has been fun! But I wouldn’t stop there.  Here are some of the other things I’d do.

1. I’d get every copy of the tax code I could find and have a huge bonfire. Then I would replace it with a progressive code with rates of 10%, 20% and 30%, depending on your income level. 

2. Anyone caught peddling influence to the future Congress would be sentenced to one year of working in a fast-food place or six months of being a single parent. And for repeat offenders, they would have to listen to an endless loop of Michelle Bachmann speeches interspersed with Herman Cain’s singing three nights a week for a year.

3. I would end our involvement in Afghanistan tomorrow. They don’t want us there, we don’t want to be there and we’ve done what we said we were going to do.

4. Term limits for every elected official and contributions would be limited to $20. NO STUPID SUPER PACS.

5. All elected officials have to live in FEMA trailers for the duration of their terms

6. The Supreme Court works all year long and gets two weeks vacation for the first two years of their term. After that, it’s three. Three sick days a year and they have to work one weekend a month.

7. Cut defense spending by one third, and build up a health care fund.

8. Stop subsidizing, farmers and oil companies. Stop exporting oil and tell OPEC to shove it.

9. Limit the number of lawyers in the country to 2.

10. Finally, we need to have a way to measure effectiveness of our representatives in Congress, just like they want to do for teachers. Therefore I would pay them based on merit. Based on their performance so far, Congress would owe us money!

And when I was done, I would abdicate my throne and move back to my active adult community and live out the rest of my life knowing that I had actually done something for my country. No books written and no big fat lecture fees.

America’s discontent is like a big giant pimple which is coming to a head. People are tired of being sold a bill of goods year after year, decade after decade. Politicians could get away with their hot air promises in years past because by the time their lies filtered through the system it was generally too late to do anything about it. But in the years since social media and the Internet has linked us together, their empty rhetoric is called into question each and every time they spout it.

I laugh at politicians who rail against the President’s so-called ‘socialist’ leanings because these do-nothings make their fortunes in government, the largest socialist organization there is. They produce nothing and yet they seem to think that they know what’s best for our citizens. And when they retire or are kicked out of office, they have nice, big, fat pensions to live off of for the rest of their lives. Of course, they are able to supplement their juicy monthly check with book deals and speaking fees as well, while you and I augment our incomes with second and third jobs, often well into our retirement years.

Yes, the people that run our government seem to have forgotten that it is OUR government they are running. America is ALL of us, not some of us, and not the ones who can spend the most money to grab the ear and wallet of some member of Congress who’s been there for forty years. Absolute power corrupts absolutely, it’s been said, and I truly believe that our system of government has reached that point of corruption.

Please know that when I say the system has been corrupted, I don’t mean the idea and ideal of our republic; that is a grand one. And if there were a way to initiate a renaissance in it I would be the first to stand up for it. But a career politician, someone whose entire existence and whose entire career is devoted to keeping his or her job is wrong. It’s just wrong. The idea of a citizen government is that you leave the private world, work for the good of your country, and then go back home to resume your life. It was never meant to be a life-long job. And it certainly was never meant to be so attractive a career, as to do it to the exclusion of everything else in one’s life.

Wow... that felt great! Every once in a while ya just have to let off steam to replace the stinky hot air that blows across this country. By the way, if you seriously would like me for Queen, just shoot me an email!

That’s it. I’m done bitching. Everybody hug. Everybody eat. Abbondanza!


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