Sunday, December 11, 2011

Leggo of My Ego!

Dear Julia;
We’ve been watching you for the last ten + years, and to be honest we can’t really figure you out.

Everything you’ve ever asked for in life you’ve gotten. Well, almost everything. There was that puppy you asked Superman for in  September of 1958. We’re pretty sure by now you realize that request was pretty over the top. Come on...a puppy? From Superman? Like he’s going to just show up hovering on the windowsill of your apartment like a giant leotard-wearing hummingbird with Lucky, the Smartest Dog in the World! As you know, Superman was also way too busy to get your parents back together, then fly back in time to Dallas in 1963 and protect President Kennedy. So get over it already.  

And then there’s money. Yeah, it was pretty much a given that you weren’t going to have any of that either. That’s why we gave you creativity; it’s a really cool replacement for money isn’t it? We do think we did pretty well on that one except for installing the components that would let you make a living at it. But hey, you’re creative, right? You’ll figure it out!

We’ve given you lots of other things too. For instance, when the brain trust passed the Gender Confusion Act of 1952, you were one of the first ones to benefit from it. Now if we didn’t think you could handle it, would we have bestowed such an honor on you?

And then there’s your little comedy act. Yes, you were good ONCE, but let’s face it; times have changed. You’re And it really is about time that you stop needing the approval of total strangers to make you feel good! Honestly... we’ve discussed this matter at great length here with the Id and frankly we’re confounded. But every thing you’ve ever attempted, sometimes AGAINST OUR BETTER JUDGMENT, you’ve done well with.. Except for relationships of course; You really screwed the pooch on those.

Finally, we’d like to remind you that even though it seems like you were constructed out of spare parts, you DO have a choice in whether to pursue this comedy thing or not. Just think it through this time, not like when you took your flying solo and you KNEW you weren’t ready and you got LOST over the Aberdeen Proving Grounds and were WARNED that if you didn’t exit the secure military airspace IMMEDIATELY you would be escorted out by F-16 fighter jets. Not like that time, okay?

So go ahead, if you must. Keep it in perspective. Don’t go running off willy-nilly to Pocatello, Idaho to do guest spots at Uncle Potato Head's Yuk it up. Feed your head a bit. We’re here if you need us.

The Ego

Cc: The Id.

1 comment:

  1. Hope there are more Eggos in that box. Sounds like a party's going on in there. Thanks Julia, I'm really enjoying this!