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Sunday, December 18, 2011

WORKING IT from the inside and out.

On January 3rd, ABC will present a ‘new’ series entitled Working It, a reference to the phrase, “You Work it Girllllllllllll!!!!!  (Too many Ls for emphasis?), which even in my antiquated body of hip and far-out catch phrases has been passé since about the year 1998. I suppose that the reason it took ABC so long to latch on to this street lingo is that its originators probably never got invited to many penthouse suite parties over at the Executive Headquarters of ABC.


For you history buffs, being behind the hip curve is nothing new for television. With rare exceptions this same phenomenon has re-occurred over and over during the TV timeline. I need only harken back to the golden age of TV, the 1970s (I’m kidding of course), when Greg Brady suddenly started acting like a cool rock star and spouting peace and love about five years after the last Haight Ashbury hash pipe got packed away into what is now your Grandma’s attic. I like to call it the Trickle Up Theory of Hipness. The TV executives still think Fred Berry’s turn as the character Rerun from What’s Happening! is relevant. That’s why several years later they reprised the show, albeit with the same, but older cast, and called it “What’s Happening Now? “The answer to that was, of course, nothing. Nothing was happening. It was a stale, sanitized, soulless version of a kind of neat little show.

The truth is, the Environmental Protection Agency ought to give out a Major Award to all of TV because they are the greatest recyclers of broadcast fecal matter in history.  They can take shows that range from mediocre to absolutely brilliant and turn it into absolute eye-shit. Here, let me give you a few examples, past and present.

Father Knows Best =The Cosby Show= Family Ties= Family Matters=  about a dozen others.
Golden Girls = Hot in Cleveland
The Odd Couple = The Exes
The Honeymooners = The Flinstones  
Every reality show = Every reality show  

Then of course, there are the spinoffs. I won’t even get started on the travesty that was Mama’s Family (Carol Burnett Show), Gloria (All in the Family) or, I’m gagging here.. After M.A.S.H.  M.A.S.H. FOR God’s sake! You don’t touch M.A S.H. You don’t take M.A.S.H., a regal thing of beauty and turn it into a Lincoln Tunnel hooker, flashing her boob tubes to New Jersey bound commuters in the hopes of earning enough money to buy a crack fix. It’s just not right.

 Oh SNAP! She did NOT! ß Attention TV executives. NOTE THE USE OF HIP, THOUGH NEARLY OUTDATED VERBAGE.   

Point of fact; television has nothing to do with real life WHICH INCLUDES REALITY TELEVISION. Not then. Not now. This has been a public service message from the EPA. Now back to Working It.

The premise of the show is that two ostensibly straight men who have had difficulty finding employment. dress up like women to get pharmaceutical sales jobs at a company that is looking for female reps. Wait a minute. I have stop here for a second ....

Seriously ABC, are you guys for friggin real? Did you not see Some Like it Hot or Tootsie? Does the name Bosom Buddies ring a bell to ANYONE IN CHARGE THERE? That was YOUR Show! It aired on A B friggin C!

Okay, I’m back.

Working It stars two guys, of course, both of whom are probably very nice and are very excited to have their own series. One is Amaury Nolasco and the other is  Ben Koldyke. That’s his name. Koldyke (sorry, there's just something intrinsically humorous in the irony of his name). Anyway, as I said earlier they are playing straight guys pretending to be women; straight women. This of course sets up the possibilities for all kinds of zany antics, like learning how to walk in heels, trying not to get caught, fending off unwanted male advances, and well..just watch Bosom Buddies, oops...I mean the new ABC hit Working It  and you’ll see what I mean. That Tom Hanks, er uh, I mean Ben Koldyke and Peter Scolari, no wait, Amaury Nolasco are a hoot and a half.

But that’s not the reason I have chosen to devote using my gnarled, arthritic old fingers and my failing eyesight to this entry. Oh no. There is something afoot here politically that is kind of pissing me off. Storm clouds are forming and it won’t be long before the thunder of righteous indignation bursts from the heavens, and people everywhere, from every walk of life will rise up,  YES, I SAID RISE UP and SMITE POLITICAL INCORRECT-itivity  WHEREVER IT REARS ITS UGLY, BIGOTED HEAD! Brothers and sisters, I give you the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) and The Human Rights Campaign. Cue the lights! Cue the Sousa Marches, break out the torches and pitchforks. They are on the march (at least until they can milk all the PR from this as is humanly possible, then they will quietly distance themselves from the transgender community again).

You see, transgendered folk are not exactly superstars in the GLBT community. Why, we are even listed after the bisexuals as you can clearly see from the accompanying chart.

 G L     B ß bisexuals,    T <us ß-----------SEE?

GLAAD doesn’t even include us in their name for crying out loud. We’re like the stepchild in the Christmas Post Card whose head is half chopped off!  But then again, they ignore the bisexuals too.
As for the HRC, well...they love us so much that a couple of years ago, when the Employee Non Discrimination Act (ENDA)  was being debated in Congress, the HRC , along with Barney Frank, actually agreed  to not include transgendered people from being covered in order to get it passed. Both HRC and Barney backed away after pressure was brought to bear by right-minded and caring gay folk. Thanks for that, by the way J

Call me crazy, but what is really going on here? Was GLAAD so moved by the awful way transgendered people are treated that they felt compelled to issue this excerpt from an ‘official’ statement

            ... Not only does it (the show) inadvertently further notions that transgender identities are humorous or
                artificial, but imagery like this are one of the first things anti-left activists react to when trying to deny
                Transgender people protections against discrimination.

And HRC had this to say:

...It is never appropriate to belittle or mock those who do not adhere to society’s gender norms or the struggles they face. As an ABC viewer, I urge you not to air a show that reinforces negative and damaging stereotypes about transgendered people

Wow. All I can say is, What the F**K show are they talking about?

Okay, listen to me for a second GLAAD and HRC. This isn’t a show about transgendered people. This is a show about two really fucked-up STRAIGHT guys trying to get a job in a very weird way. That’s it.  And really, I mean realllllllllllly....Hey GLAAD, DO YOU TRULY BELIEVE THE ANTI-LEFT IS GOING TO USE Working it as evidence to deny us our rights? Can we count on Michelle Bachmann to stop using the phrase "OBaahhhhma care" in every other sentence and replace it with  "Worrrking It"? I think not.

And HRC, I’m telling you, I do not feel belittled one iota, because Working It is not about me, or my brothers and sisters. I repeat; this is a show about two really fucked-up STRAIGHT guys trying to get a job in a very weird way. So stop using us for your own political and public relations.  We have enough troubles without you trying to ‘help’ us. Seems like the only time you jump into the fray is when it suits your purposes.

And one more thing....I don’t know if any Rush Limbaugh loving neo-cons read this. But if you do, don’t be taking my stuff out of context. I support the rights of my L, G, and B family big time. But all families have disagreements, and I have one here. So, in true Italian fashion, I have blown off my steam, and I’m done. BIG HUG, EVERYBODY! LET’S EAT!

As far as Working It goes, I strongly recommend that you watch it on January 3rd. Because from the sound of it, I’m not too sure it will be there on January 10th.

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