So I bumped into Jesus at the WaWa this morning…
JESUS: Why so glum, chum? You look like hell, if you’ll pardon my French.
ME: Awww…I’m just feelin blue. Someone I was close to turned out to not be a person of high character. Did you ever have that happen to you?
JESUS: Are you kidding? Have you never heard of Judas?
ME: Oh right. Sorry…wow...Jesus.
JESUS: What?
ME: What?
JESUS: You called me.
ME: No, I was using your name as an exclamation.
JESUS: Don’t do that. It confuses me.
ME: I’m so angry, that I want to go nuts. Did every happen to you? Where you lost your shit and wanted to start breaking stuff? I mean, I know you have an image and all…
JESUS: Again? Listen, you REALLY do need to read my book. One time, in the temple, somebody once sold me some bad fish and then wouldn’t give me a refund. I went ape-shit. I was flipping tables and cursing out everybody. They finally asked me to leave.
ME: Why didn’t you smite them all? I mean, you could have just reached into your cloak and chucked a giant fireball at the whole place.
JESUS: Yeah of course. But I have a responsibility to the family and to our code. If I’d have just said to hell with it and went nuts on them, that would abusing my power, wouldn’t it? And then who would ever trust me again?
ME: True.
JESUS: Trust me, it’s true. Whoa! See what I just did there? I asked you to trust me and you did, because you know I’m not going to screw you over!
ME: You know, you’re just alight with me. I really dig you the most.
JESUS: I dig ya right back, chickie pie. Now how about a nice cream donut, a coffee, and a pack of smokes for your old pal, huh?
ME: Ten-four good buddy.
JESUS: And a big Amen to you!
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