So I bumped into Jesus at the WaWa this morning…
ME: Why are you making those crazy faces? St. Vitus dance acting up again?
JESUS: Naw. I just found out that Peter and the guys are planning a surprise birthday party for me and I’m trying to look surprised. How am I doing?
ME: Oh wow, cool! When’s your birthday?
JESUS: Duhhhh…
ME: Oh yeah, right.
JESUS: Peter really knows how to throw a bash. Not like Andrew who put together my last supper, and that was a big bust as you know. Of course Peter denied knowing anything about the whole thing. I asked him three times and he just played dumb.
JESUS: Hey, did you know that my real birthday is in the spring and not December?
ME: Really?
JESUS: Yup. We tried going with a March Christmas for about 100 years and then Caesar got stabbed on the 15th and that’s all anyone could talk about. It screwed up everything, and my birthday never caught on. Besides, it also conflicted with King Nebuchadnezzar’s birthday. And once I hit the big time, his birthday celebration and mine being in the same month pissed off all the merchants because they didn’t want to have two giant sales in one month.
ME: And March Christmas would have really messed up the Black Friday sales.
JESUS: Here’s a fun fact about that. Did you know that out that originally Good Friday was the Friday after Thanksgiving and Black Friday was the Friday before Easter?
ME: No way!
JESUS: Yup. It was Pope Evaristus, aka Pope ‘Buddy’ who flipped them due to his dyslexia.
ME: Well that makes sense.
JESUS: You bet your booty it does. There wasn’t anything good about that Friday! So are you coming to the party? I’m turning two thousand and twenty. That only happens once you know.
ME: I don’t know…
JESUS: Awww, come on. It’ll be fun. We play some cool games. I hope Pete remember to do the Secret Savior this year. I love that!
ME: You mean Secret Santa, right?
JESUS: Duhhh, again. C’mon sis, get with the program.
ME: Sorry. I will try to make it though. Where is he having it?
JESUS: Word on the street is that he’s booked the Holiday Inn on Route 37.
ME: Got it. In the meantime, do you want anything from the store?
JESUS: I would die for one of those Tasty Kake Kandy Kakes and a coffee.
ME: You got it buddy.
JESUS: No, Buddy was the Pope. I’m the Savior. See what I did there?
ME: Duhhhh.
JESUS: Duh yourself. Felice Navidad kiddo!
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