So I bumped into Jesus at the WaWa this morning…
JESUS: Thanks! Merci Beaucoup, Hey, thank you! Muchas Gracias, Thanks a lot! Grazie Mille, Thank you very much, Arigatou…
ME: What are you doing, you crazy person?
JESUS: It’s Thanksgiving. I’m giving out free thanks. That last one was in Japanese. Pretty cool, huh? That Rosetta Stone is great!
ME: That’s not the way it works.
JESUS: No? Enlighten me then, sistah. I am just a mere Savior. I sit at your feet and thirst for your knowledge.
ME: Don’t be a smartass. I just meant that Thanksgiving is a day when we all get together with our family, eat a lot of food, get drunk and watch a lot of sports.
JESUS: So when does the ‘giving thanks’ part happen?
ME: Oh, most people go around the table and tell one thing that they are thankful for. It’s kind of annoying, but people do it because they kind of feel obligated. I mean, they’re thankful, but don’t overdo it. Then, around midnight, they go and camp out at the mall for Black Friday. Then they are REALLY thankful because they get big savings on their Christmas shopping. By the way, what are you doing for Thanksgiving? Do you have somewhere to go?
JESUS: I am going down to railroad tracks where the homeless people live. There’s a family there that is in a pretty bad way. I’m going to bring them dinner. Wanna come?
ME: Oh gee, I’d love to, but you know the family is coming and I have to cook and it’s going to be crazy. But you are welcome to stop by when you are done.
JESUS: Thanks. But tomorrow is a busy day for me… always is. But you have a good time. Hey, by the way I got you this card.
ME: Aww…thank you so much! You shouldn’t have.
JESUS: Well you’re always getting me stuff. It’s the least I can do. Go ahead open it.
ME: Okay let’s see here…oh it’s beautiful…and inside it says…. 'Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.' Sigh…why do you do these things to me?
JESUS: Because I love you.
ME: Okay, okay. What time do you want me at the tracks?
JESUS: About 10 in the morning? And could you pick up a cooked turkey while you’re at it? And some blankets? And mashed potatoes? And maybe a couple of pies with some nice ice cream for dessert? Oh and Bob, he’s the father, really likes Brussel sprouts though I have no idea why. Dad always says that he doesn’t know what he was thinking when he made Brussel sprouts… says it every year.
ME: You are really pushing it, aren’t you?
JESUS: Maybe. But I only have one thing to say.
ME: Oh? What’s that?
JESUS: Buongiorno de Ringraziamento. Happy Thanksgiving in Italian! Now could you pick up a coffee and one of those hot turkey sandwiches? Oh…and a package of Hostess Twinkies. I love those… and I love you.
ME: And a Buongiorno de Ringraziamento to you. Sure. I’ll be right back.
JESUS: Namaste sistah!
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