So I bumped into Jesus at the WaWa this morning…
ME: Whoa! What’s with the boxes? There must be dozens of them?
JESUS: Oh these? They’re thoughts and prayers from Florida. Did you bring me anything to eat?
ME: What? Oh yeah. Here’s a Sausage and Egg Sizzli and your coffee. Wow. Those people pray a lot. What are they asking for?
JESUS: They want me to stop all these killings. They’re driving me nutzo.
ME: You know, I didn’t want to bring it up before. But honestly, if you are who you say you are, why don’t you stop them?
JESUS: What? Just wave a finger and stop it? The world doesn’t work like that lady. Besides, I have answered every single one of them. I always do.
ME: What’d you say?
JESUS: Render unto Caesar baby. Ban the semi-automatics and stop making it so easy for crazy people to get guns. THAT’S MY ANSWER! What else do they want me to do?
ME: Maybe they don’t know that it’s you talking to them. You need better Public Relations. Why don’t you go on Fox & Friends?
JESUS: Oh like that’s gonna happen. I’m a poor brown man with no visible means of support. What do I look like, a miracle worker?
ME: Well….???
JESUS: Can you take these boxes to the recycling place? I'm sure there will be new ones coming in soon. There always is.
ME: Sure.
JESUS: Bless you.
ME: Thoughts and prayers to you.
JESUS: Smartass.
No comments:
Post a Comment