So I bumped into Jesus at the WaWa this morning…
ME: Dang Jay, you must have 35 empty cups of coffee there, buddy! Did you drink them all?
JESUS: I DID!!! IT’S FREE COFFEE DAY. FREE COFFEE…LOOKS LIKE I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE MAKIN MIRACLES TODAY!!! YEE HA!
ME: Calm down buckaroo. You seem a little hyped up.
JESUS: Aww man, don’t be smiting my high, baby. Do you know I’ve already cured 23 lepers and raised 16 people from the dead? And it’s not even 8 o’clock in the morning. CAFFEINE RULES!
ME: What? Where did you find lepers around here?
JESUS: Okay maybe they just had measles. But that’s still pretty good, no? Annnnnnd, I finally pried that bastard Assange out of the embassy. Did you see it? They carried him out and stuffed him in a van! Oh man it was priceless!!!!
ME: Wow. You are off the rails here. Did you eat today?
JESUS: Naw baby. I don’t need no food! Just keep loading me up with the caffeine! IT’S FREEEEEE! YIPPEEEEE!
ME: How about a nice sandwich?
JESUS: Okay Bertha Buzzkill…get me an egg and bacon sandwich on a bagel, a pack of smokes and some more of this delicious, hot, freshly roasted FREE COFFEE!
ME: (whispering) It’s going to be decaf.
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