So I bumped into Jesus this morning at the WaWa…
ME: Mornin’ Big Guy. I got you a Sausage and Egg Sizzli and a coffee. Thought you might be hungry.
JESUS: Oh wow, thanks! I’ve been so busy this morning I forgot to eat! I was going to do some loaves and fishes later, but this is great, thanks!
ME: Not a problem. Whatcha doin? You’re writing up a storm there.
JESUS: I’m really excited. I’m putting together my guest list for my annual holiday bash. You know my birthday is coming up and so I do this big deal every year to cover all the holidays; Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, Ramadan, all of them. You’re invited of course.
ME: Thanks. Where is it?
JESUS: At my place in the Hamptons.
ME: Wait…you have a place in the Hamptons? On Long Island?
JESUS: Yessiree Bob. And I have plenty of room. You can stay over.
ME: Ooookay. So who else is on the guest list?
JESUS: Well, there’s Mom and Dad of course.
ME: Of course.
JESUS: My brother James, his wife and their rotten kids. Every year they break something after I tell them not to touch it…. Passive aggressive little buggers.
ME: I see.
JESUS: Oh, I almost forgot. I’m hoping for a reunion of the original 13 apostles. I hope Peter brings his guitar. He’s pretty good actually… sounds a lot like Glenn Frey from the Eagles.
ME: Wait. Did you say…13 apostles? I thought there were only 12?
JESUS: Yeah, everyone thinks that. We started with 13, but we impeached one just before we hit it big. Turned out he was taking kickbacks. His name is Lou.
ME: Lou? You actually had an apostle named Lou?
JESUS: Short for Lucifer. He’s a big deal now. Owns a plumbing supply store in Tenafly, New Jersey.
ME: Wait. You’re actually invited the Prince of Darkness to your party? Isn’t that going to be uncomfortable?
JESUS: Look. It’s been two thousand years. Time to let bygones be bygones. Besides, I’m hoping to get a good price on a Jacuzzi for the back yard. Besides, I’m the Prince of Peace. That trumps the Prince of Darkness every time.
ME: You’re a better person than I am.
JESUS: Many people say that I’m a better person than everyone. So are you coming?
ME: I wouldn’t miss it for the world.
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